Last night after our Preparing for Adoption class (“Prep Adop,” as it’s called in certain circles) we handed our stack of“Dear Birth Mother” letters toLynne fromAdoption Connection. We’re officially waiting for the phone to ring now. All the paperwork is in, and between now and the next batch of paperwork (the kind that will probably involve lawyers and judges) comes the very human process of matching with the woman who will give us a baby. It’s a little like an open ended pregnancy—we know the baby’s coming, but can’t keep it to a nine month time line. They say a year is the average, but we’re going in prepared for anything.

Last night at our class, we heard from two birth mothers who placed children with adoptive parents. I’ll admit that I was a little nervous to meet them. One thing that was reinforced for us (and believe me—it was already there) is the knowledge that our great joy at becoming parents means great sadness and loss for someone else. As Lynne likes to say, “Placing a child for adoption is about the only thing anyone will ever do to bring serious grief upon themselves—usually we try to avoid that pain, not invite it.” But the amazing thing about these women last night was that they were so dedicated to giving the children they carried the best possible life that they made this amazing sacrifice.

There are also a lot of stereotypes about birthmothers. There’s a general assumption that these women are mixed up, irresponsible, and out of control. That’s pretty much the opposite of who we met last night. It takes enormous strength and a great deal of commitment to do what they did, and I was very impressed. It was the highlight of the class. More birthmother stories are availablehere.

It also further cemented our commitment to open adoption. I’d be happy to have women like those we met last night in my child’s life.

Welcome to our website. We are very excited about our decision to pursue adoption. (Our families are delighted as well!) We hope to keep this website updated, at least weekly with pictures, events, and experiences as we move along this adoption process.

Our agency, Adoption Connection, has been an invaluable resource to us. They not only conduct home studies and do outreach, but provide many workshops as well. Currently we’re taking the “Preparing for Domestic Adoption” course. It is a great opportunity to learn about the adoption process from adoptees, birthmoms, and adoptive parents as well as to network with other couples in our class.

This past session we had a woman who had been adopted as an infant come and speak to us. She had an great story, and a wonderful humorous style. It was helpful to learn about her life growing up. It brought a whole different angle into light, and to hear about her childhood, her thoughts and fantasies about who her birthparents were or what they looked like confirmed to us that open adoption is the route we want to take. Having the child grow up knowing their biological parents, having their questions answered, and knowing that there are that many people out there who love and care about them will bring more security and happiness to our family.

Everything right now seems so exciting and overwhelming. We are anxious to finish all our outreach information so that we can begin “the waiting process.” More to come, I am sure.